How I Eliminated Anxiety
Anxiety is a common experience for people across ages, cultures, socioeconomic hierarchies, faiths, ethnicities, etc. In fact, this condition may be so commonplace that it is considered for many people their normal state of mind. We could say this has something to do with the way a person chooses to think, but this condition can also be found in domesticated animals.
This post isn’t intended to be a replacement for medical advice or an alternative to counseling. There are situations out of your control that may require professional assistance. Outside of these situations, I will identify methods of SELF-CARE based on practices that I adopted at the times when anxiety appeared in my life. Anxiety for me was a combined feeling of loss of control, a fear of uncertainty, an anti-social attitude, some depression, and a high degree of self-conscious sensitivity.
How to Practice SELF-CARE
SELF-CARE is a methodology that addresses ways that you can apply efforts towards the only thing you can control, your mind, and activity. Attention applied effectively has the effect of waking you up from the malaise of anxiety. Instead of feeling fear and dread that follows anxiety, I felt imbued with a renewed sense of purpose when I decided not to stay anxious. My intuition then guided the specific steps and processes to follow towards pulling me out.
The first thing I addressed was my state of mind. At that time, SELF-CARE did not exist, and so I consumed the next best thing, self-help content. In addition to listening to audiobooks, I experimented with meditation, hypnosis, and journaling. I can’t say with any degree of certainty as to what specifically enabled me to break through, however, a conscious examination of my thoughts and decisions up to that point made me more self-aware.
Are You Self-Aware?
Meditation and Yoga practice made me aware of how breathing and conscious control of the body can alter a state of mind. Breath meditation, in particular, is perhaps the most ancient and widespread practice of grounding into the present moment and thereby bypassing fearful thoughts of a future consequence, or negative feelings associated with the past. Simplifying thoughts by shifting to breath awareness cultivate attention in a constructive way.
Once my life was back on track and I was out of the funk, I looked towards a martial arts practice. The art of Aikido was an excellent choice for me because it emphasized the importance of correct posture and relaxation and its significance toward a confident state of mind and the ability to move freely. There is also a sense of humility that comes from being a beginner at something. I learned thereby, a beginner’s mind approach that has served me well towards acquiring knowledge and skill.
Aikido took my meditation to the next level by introducing the idea of being centered and moving in a coordinated, meditative way. In the Japanese Zen tradition, concentration is often directed to a point just below the navel called the Hara or Tanden. By extending the Hara forward to draw the inhale and contracting towards the spine for exhaling, attention is amplified by an increase in oxygen. Moving based on the Hara helps to keep you centered and allows for a psychological edge against aggression through a heightened sense of awareness.
Discipline Develops Mindset
The techniques and frequent practice of Aikido taught me to appreciate the importance of discipline as a method to take my practice of self-care further, an important factor in personal growth. By creating a structure to my day in terms of a training schedule as well as practices such as Hatha Yoga and scheduling times to meditate, I was allowing myself to deal with negative emotions and stress daily due to stressful interactions, personal insecurities, and the necessity of focus to solve problems in my profession.
As I advanced in my career and faced more difficult circumstances, anxiety followed due to greater uncertainties. It’s important to recognize that to deal with greater degrees of stress and uncertainty, anxiety is likely to surface because the consequence of making the wrong decision exposes us to a greater fall and a longer time to recover. At this point in time in my life, I had a tremendous workload and other interpersonal challenges with my employer. To ensure that I kept my job and dealt with the situation effectively, I developed a time management system that continues to be an important part of my SELF-CARE practice.
Next Level Challenges
Being diligent in the use of time and practicing the various methods described in the earlier chapters of my life, I found a meaningful way to ensure that my integrity was in check by way of work commitments, yet this was as an individual contributor with no responsibilities for the work that others delivered. Anxieties for me increased when for the first time, I had the responsibility for the output and quality of other people’s work.
Anxiety as a Leader requires a very different orientation, one that is both about influence and also about trust associated with the additional complexities beyond productivity and personal commitments. Furthermore, the number of risks and possibilities for failure rise exponentially with more people involved. In my case, it was a matter of assuming a new role in a new industry with new clients. I faced new fears that made me anxious because my livelihood now depended on others.
In 2006, I faced a confrontation with another business executive. He was flippant and uncooperative. I needed his support to move things forward and so I came up with a SELF-CARE framework to arrive at the precise steps to follow and ensure that my ego was not driving the agenda. In the 14 years following this situation, I continue to practice this method to handle relationships and recommend that you also try this approach as outlined in the section dedicated to this topic.
Anxiety is not the optimal state of mind by which to live or to fuel effort because the underlying emotion is fear. In a fearful state, we can be paralyzed and vulnerable. Breathing, posture, movement, and the application of technique are fundamental skills that you need to develop and master as an automatic response toward managing stress. The starting point is self-awareness, starting with the right mindset and attitude to overcome the influence of uncertainty and loss. Adding discipline and building your confidence through the practice of time management are keys to your credibility and the ability to grow to your full potential.