A Subtle Yet Powerful Difference
There is a subtle, yet powerful difference between the small minority of people that attract exclusive opportunities and the general public that follow conventional methods. Perhaps you know some people like this, and they are among a handful of such individuals with this mystery quality. What is the “It” factor that separates these individuals from the rest? Immediately you can see from posture, ease of movement and Lack of tension in the gait. The body language and eyes in particular signal confidence. The overall presentation of a Leader is indifference coupled with a strong sense of situational awareness.
I have had several opportunities to know such people on a very personal level through close relationships. I can think of 3 such individuals in particular. These are intelligent people, but not exceptionally so. They are attractive but not in some exceptional way. Competitive? Yes, but only with individuals of a similar variety. Perhaps you believe they are conceited and arrogant because they do not allow people to come too close and distance themselves through boundaries. At a superficial level this is true, but dig deeper and you will realize a different quality instead.
The quality in particular that I am talking about is based on the ability to overcome overwhelming situations, including painful realizations that would break most others into giving up or going the other way. In one person’s case, he lost his father and was placed into a position of leadership at home, lacking any real examples to follow, he had to find the strength to stabilize his home life and financial situation. He learned thereby to be his own best friend and grow up faster than us, his close friends. We looked up to this person because of his confidence.
Why It Matters
Despite the attention, this guy was still his own best friend and did not let his conquests get to his head. He was mostly distrustful in general and did not build attachments. Being a challenge, his serial girlfriends tried everything until he finally married a woman with whom he had the most in common, never courting her attention or affections. He excelled at his job because he held himself to a higher standard consistently. Nothing fazed him.
Others I have known possess the same confident detachment from people, outcomes and the need for acceptance or validation. One person, in particular, was the youngest of 4 brothers with the eldest a known felon with multiple jail sentences for aggressive behavior. Being of a working-class family in a community where his ethnic origins were considered lowly, he had a slight resentment. Instead of seeking distraction, he kept himself aloof and focused instead of hustling to make a living as a door to door salesman. He learned the art of persuasion through repeat rejection. Today, he owns dozens of franchise restaurants and an affluent lifestyle.
How You Can Acquire this Quality
The “It” quality is the understated strength of character in a person that has seen adversity, learned to depend upon ones’ self as the best advocate and guide to act without the need for external validation or approval. The ability to push through and create opportunities with an abundance mindset by having faith in one’s abilities is not an imagined capacity. It is an earned quality that allows a person the confidence to rise above others and deal with unfairness, criticism, rejection or any other fear that would hold others back. The best term to describe this quality is self-acceptance.
How can we develop this same quality? The use of time management tools provides daily feedback to let us evaluate our productivity, focus, and method of managing commitments. In other words, our ability to generate and deliver value and gain confidence. Using a Journal to identify experiences from which to accelerate growth and mature. Using SELF-CARE to overcome negative feelings and experiences and rise above them. Self-Acceptance is a product of your habits and decisions. Please review other posts on this site for specifics related to your area of interest.